Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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