So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
