HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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