What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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