Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
