HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If I die, sorry about rent.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
