I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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