just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
