Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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