Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"it" just moved
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
