I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
