Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
