Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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