READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
