Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize