My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize