are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
