How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
