I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize