bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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