tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
