don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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