Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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