Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
