Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
