just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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