chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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