My room smells like vodka and shame
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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