dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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