Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
