you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is Oprah even human
All the doctor said was why
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
