Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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