He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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