The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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