I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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