i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
do herpes really smell.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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