??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
