Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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