Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
