Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
