My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
