With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
