ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
3 2 1 whiskey
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
