Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
