WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
