Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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