I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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