yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
