Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
