im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
where are you?
Hypothermia
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
