i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
