Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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