You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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