I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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