I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
