Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
