just come out here and I will go home with you...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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