hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
