Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize